El Cartoonista

Long live El Cartoonista

2008-01-28T16:03:00.000-06:00

After two blogtastic years, I have decided to move to another blog service. It's not all put together yet, but you can check out the new Cartoonista at www.cartoonista.wordpress.com. Wordpress just works so much better for posting cartoons than Blogger does, and I think you'll like the difference.
Now git!

Gift, bribe, same dif

2008-01-21T10:46:00.001-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Jan 17

Do Utah lawmakers really expect us to believe that they aren't influenced by gifts from lobbyists? Yes, apparently.

_________________

No teacher left behind

2008-01-14T07:03:00.000-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Jan 10

I love it when the school districts tell us that our kids are their most important priority, when they're doing everything they can to protect their own failing schools rather than let our kids get a better education somewhere else. No wonder they came out with such gnashing of teeth against vouchers.

_______________

Cooties: "Infestation" part 91 & 92

2008-01-11T15:49:00.000-06:00

Poppin' out and jumpin' around.

Go, Speed Racer, Go!

2008-01-10T06:55:00.001-06:00

Whoa.

I...I just don't know about this. This is one of those trailers that make me wonder whether this will be the coolest movie ever or a huge fiasco.

But Jack from Lost as Racer X? Yeah!

Making life better for government

2008-01-08T15:58:00.001-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Jan 3

I think the very fact that you think you need to go out and convince people that you're spending their money wisely should tell us all something...

____________

Cooties - "Infestation" parts 89 & 90

2008-01-04T11:01:00.000-06:00

What's in your bathroom?

Backseat Rage

2008-01-02T12:40:00.000-06:00

From the 2008 Perkins Family Calendar

One of the things I like about my current job is that they give their employees free year-long bus passes. I save on gas, and I can sit and read a book or listen to talk radio or podcasts in peace while the driver has to deal with the traffic and snow. It almost makes putting up with the smelly, creepy hobos worth it.

Cooties - "Infestation" part 88

2007-12-28T17:21:00.000-06:00

Cooties presents...the 3 Stooges?

Does it come with a shovel?

2007-12-24T11:16:00.000-06:00

From the 2007 Perkins Family Calendar

Merry Christmas, y'all!
___________________

And to all a good fright

2007-12-21T10:56:00.000-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Dec 20

Our beloved Health Department is conducting free screenings of your kids' presents. I'm grateful for their concern, even though I'm confident my kids' gifts won't make them sick or dead.

The DCHD has already asked me for a high-res copy of this for their wall. This is the third one of mine they've asked for; I expect to be invited to their Christmas party soon.

Cooties- "Infestation" part 87

2007-12-12T13:52:00.000-06:00

You kids today and your flashy video gaming machines...

New Transformer Toon Preview

2007-12-11T06:14:00.001-06:00

I continue to maintain that the '80s were the best time in the history of mankind to be a kid. Lo and behold, another Transformers in carnation. Only Optimus Prime with a face? And a non-John Wayne voice? You kids today...

Pay up, youse mugs...

2007-12-10T13:50:00.000-06:00

From the Clipper:

"Even before it’s up and running, Utah Transit Authority officials are saying they may have to cut hours of service to the FrontRunner commuter train if commissioners in Davis and Weber counties don’t pony up a .05-cent sales tax increase...

That increase is a portion of the sales tax revenue lost when the Utah Legislature removed the tax from nonprepared food. Salt Lake, Utah, Tooele, and Box Elder counties passed the measure, but Davis County commissioners complained in October that they had heard little about the measure until it was too late to act in time for a Nov. 1 deadline."

This one didn't get printed. I'm sure I'll find out why in a month or so. I just found the tone of the article to be almost comparing UTA to the mafia and went with it...

Jack Bauer for President

2007-12-08T17:44:00.001-06:00

Can't blog. Watching 24.

______________________

Cooties - "Infestation" part 85

2007-12-06T16:25:00.000-06:00

Haven't we gone over this?

For God so loved the Cougars...

2007-12-05T08:03:00.001-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Nov 29

Okay, so I was happy to see BYU win the Mountain West Conference. I'm not big on the BYU/Utah rivalry myself, being a Utah State Aggie (2-10, baby!). However, BYU holds a soft spot in my heart; my grandparents used to take me to games when I was a kid. I got to watch Ty Detmer make history, while chowing down on snacks on my hard metal seat. Good times.

Anyway, I would be more of a Y fan if it wasn't for the pompous self-righteousness of most of their fans. So Austin Collie's well-intentioned but stupidly-worded comments didn't help. I'll be surprised if he's allowed to speak to the press next year...

Cooties - "Infestation" part 84

2007-12-01T20:38:00.000-06:00

A little holiday season format change...

Cooties - "Infestation" part 83

2007-11-23T08:52:00.001-06:00

Lost and Found

Thanksgiving 2007

2007-11-22T10:21:00.001-06:00

From the Perkins Family Calendar 2006

"Before Thanksgiving brings out the worst in you, stop before you gripe. Give thanks for noisy houses, healthy children and overflowing company. Give thanks for bounteous tables, rambunctious friends and neighbors, life and limb. And give thanks for those who give of themselves -- in service to our nation, in civic duty and in answer to His call -- all year 'round."

-Michelle Malkin

2007-11-20T19:46:00.001-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Nov 15

As lawmakers consider whether to raise their salaries, I would be willing to ask any of them if they think they should be making more than any Utah school teacher. What would their response be?

Seven posts in seven days -- yeah!

2007-11-17T22:49:00.000-06:00

Last night we went to a church activity at my mom's ward, where the Young Men and Young Women put on a magic show with such feats as levitation, sawing a girl in half, and "The Prestige" (here's an example). I don't think my oldest appreciated it; he knew it obviously wasn't magic but seemed to be offended that it was advertised as such. I had to explain to him that it wasn't to be taken seriously and to appreciate the kids' efforts in executing the illusions. His mind just works a little too logically, I think.

Opinionation catch-up

2007-11-16T17:02:00.001-06:00

I've got the political bug back, and have started updating my other blog "Under Your Nose" again. It's designed mainly for anyone who would like to be informed about what's going on in the world but doesn't have the time or patience to seek it out; just something to read every day that'll take ten minutes of your time but leave you more informed than before.

Calvinated

2007-11-15T20:43:00.000-06:00

A few days ago my wife came up with the idea of painting some murals on the bedroom walls of my son who turns 8 soon. The theme was easy: when midnight comes around and we can hear giggling coming from my son's closet, he's usually tucked away in there with one of my Calvin & Hobbes books. Here are some photos we took of the process:

Nathan's favorite sport: Calvinball!

The incline in the ceililng led itself to one of C&H's famous sled runs...

My son with Calvin as Stupendous Man!

The Get Rid Of Slimy girlS headquarters (sign forthcoming)

Elections catch-up

2007-11-14T06:55:00.000-06:00

From the Perkins Family Calendar 2007

I admit that I forgot to register to vote until after the "15 days before an election" deadline, after moving to Centerville in March. I hang my head in shame...

THE issue this election that brought tons more people to the polls than normally would have come was the school voucher referendum. I myself was in favor of them, but I'm more in favor of Utahns being able to put it to a vote than having the Legislature pull a fast one on people. I think I did more cartoons for the Clipper on this issue than any other one.

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Nov 1

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Nov 8

Cooties catch-up

2007-11-13T15:37:00.000-06:00

I've updated parts 78-82 of "Infestation" since I've last last posted about Cooties. Check out my spiel on the latest update for my thoughts on making it an all-around better comic...

Halloween catch-up

2007-11-12T12:51:00.000-06:00

From the Perkins Family Calendar 2007

Halloween came and went without the drama of last year. The littlest was sick, though, so my wife took the boys out trick-or-treating with her friend and said friend's kids. The boys were studly-looking as Mario and Luigi, and we made sure to limit them to a few pieces of candy before bed...

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Oct 25

Of course, a Halloween-themed editoon is expected when you pick up the paper before All Hallows Eve, and I had some fun with this one. Old people are funner to draw than anything else, in my opinion.

And, since I had neither the time nor means to make me a Doctor Octopus getup this year, I donned my pizza uniform and a spiffy box-car. My wife's holiday festivity is starting to rub off on me in some ways. Or maybe it's just being a dad, but I just can't go without a costume of some sort for Halloween anymore.

Catch-up week?

2007-11-11T15:25:00.000-06:00

Can I do it? Can I do a blog post per day this week? Sir (or madam), I accept your challenge!

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Oct 18

First off, let's catch up with a Clipper toon from last month. I know I could cheat and do nothing but Clipper toons this week, but I won't.

Anyway, I thought I'd start with this one. Ever since childhood, I've never been able to read in the car without getting extremely nauseous (nauseated?). Since I've started taking the bus to and from work, and it already makes me queasy with its locker-room/detox unit odor, I figured I'd pull out a book and see if it would make things worse. Happily, I have been able to survive the experience much better than when I was a wee lad, so I'm able to have about an hour a day to enjoy a good book!

I've really had the reading bug for the past few weeks, devouring Mark L. Van Name's One Jump Ahead, Orson Scott Card's Speaker for the Dead trilogy, and Vince Flynn's Transfer of Power and The Third Option. I've got Laura Ingraham's Power to the People reserved at the library, and An Inconvenient Book by Glenn Beck is on my Christmas List!

Don't worry, I'm not just being lazy by reading books. I've also been spending an inordinately massive amount of time (for me, anyway) watching TV and movies. The Hollywood Writers' strike is probably going to be a good thing for me...

Anyway, November is when all the good summer movies come out that I was too poor to see in the theaters. I'm finding TV shows to be better than anything that's been in the theaters lately, though (with the exception of Meet the Robinsons and Ratatouille, which were great to watch with the family).

Angie and I usually watch TV exclusively online, since we don't want to spend money on TiVo but still like watching stuff at night after the kids are in bed. We're catching up with the third season of Lost, and are enjoying the second season of Heroes (heaven for a comic book geek like me), and are anxiously awaiting the sixth season of 24 on DVD.

Another recent discovery we both are enjoying is Pushing Daisies. I don't know how popular this show is, but you all need to watch it so it stays on the air (writers' strike notwithstanding). This review describes/endorses it better than I can.

Let us sing a song

2007-10-15T05:50:00.001-06:00

From the Perkins Family Calendar 2007

They do lie in wait to deceive...

2007-10-14T14:51:00.001-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Oct 11

The article to which I make reference in this cartoon made me do a double-take. It was supposed to be a nice little report on how wonderful Main Street will be in Centerville in a few years. But a little phrase was just slipped in there like it was nothing:

"and planners said that the city would be wise to use eminent domain.

'You may be taking a few feet from people, but you’ll be making it safer for the entire neighborhood,' said Petheram."

Um, what? The government taking our property will make us safer from what, exactly? Not the government, that's for sure...

Cooties - "Infestation" part 77

2007-10-14T14:47:00.000-06:00

Dangerous games...

Back from the lazy

2007-10-10T21:25:00.000-06:00

So yeah, I fell off the face of the earth for the last month, I guess. Lotta stuff goin' on. Well, not really, I don't have any excuse. For today, I'll post the last few Clipper toons I did. Boring local stuff:

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Sep 20th

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Sep 27th

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Oct 4th

And, since I've last posted, I've updated parts 71-76 of Cooties (including my super-sized 75th strip!)

Idle voters

2007-09-16T21:56:00.001-06:00

A few Davis county cities had their primary elections for city officials; Centerville didn't have one, which is just as well, since I forgot to register to vote since I moved here in March. Better get on that...

Sort of taking a break?

2007-09-13T00:11:00.000-06:00

The 6th anniversary of 9/11 has come and gone. Please read my amigo Señor Dangriga's post; it's a good reminder, and because I really have nothing more to say on the subject. I am so totally and completely burned out on politics and world events right now, so I've decided to spend now through January going to the sports page instead of the front page of the paper every morning. I'll be keeping track of the NCAA football Top 25 and the NFL standings instead of the presidential election polls until the Bowl games have all played out.

It'll be especially hard to crank out Clipper toons for the next little while, but I need to get away from Hillary, Osama, and Rocky Anderson before I go postal or something (kidding, National Security Agency!). Maybe by February I can pull my head out of the sand and see what's what.

There will still be cartoons posted here on a regular basis, though. I am in the zone as far as getting Cooties posted on a regular schedule is concerned, and may have time for other things here and there. It's time I get started on the Perkins Family 2008 calendar, too...

See ya!

Those backpacks get heavier every year...

2007-09-02T21:50:00.001-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Aug 30

Cooties - "Infestation" part 69

2007-09-02T21:47:00.000-06:00

The name game...

Cooties - "Infestation" part 68

2007-08-29T14:17:00.001-06:00

Back to school...

Cooties - "Infestation" part 67

2007-08-24T14:07:00.000-06:00

Practical jokerin'!

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...

2007-08-24T11:46:00.000-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Aug 23

Our condo has a pool. I still haven't gone in, but the rest of my family are really enjoying it. Now I can use the parasites as an excuse to stay out of the water...

The Davis Health Department asked me for a high-res copy of this one, too. They're starting a collection of my work, presumably to make fun of.

Cooties - "Infestation" part 66

2007-08-21T00:31:00.001-06:00

Luck be a bug-eyed, tentacled alien toniiiight!

James E. Faust -- 1920-2007

2007-08-19T22:13:00.000-06:00

The company I work for doesn't technically work for the LDS church, but it feels like it most of the time. They were nice enough to let us off work for a little bit on Tuesday to attend the funeral of President James E. Faust, 2nd counselor in the First Presidency of the Church. His death was quite a surprise, and those who spoke honored his memory in a very spiritually uplifting way. He will be missed.

On another church-related note, I will be singing in the choir in the Priesthood session of General Conference in October. I'm excited, it should be a great experience.

The peasants are revolting!

2007-08-18T11:35:00.000-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Aug 16

My oh my, how people are mad about the skyrocketing property tax rate in Davis County. The picture that accompanied this article had a bunch of screaming elderly folk about to form a mob; it was great.

Cooties - "Infestation" part 65

2007-08-17T10:21:00.000-06:00

Gettin' uppity on today's Cooties...

To the Perkins-mobile!

2007-08-15T23:13:00.001-06:00

From the Perkins Family Calendar 2007

Talking with my wife tonight and working on something neat got me wanting to post this cartoon.

I hate road trips. My family took one or two when I was a kid and finally decided that a good vacation entailed housesitting for our rich friends and using their hot tub and big-screen TVs, rather than riding in a hot car for endless hours.

My wife, however, comes from a family where a couple long trips a year were just part of growing up. Canada, Indiana, Wyoming, national parks and distant family members were expected to be seen every once in a while.

Lucky me, my kids have inherited my wife's point of view on the subject to some degree, so I've been subjected to some of these voyages in the past few years, usually grumbling the whole time (okay, Yellowstone was cool, but I won't give my wife the satisfaction of telling her that!).

Anyway, there's really no point to this, I'm just posting a cartoon and reminiscing...
_________________________

Cooties - "Infestation" part 64

2007-08-14T07:21:00.000-06:00

Mind-controlled moms are still moms...

The climb is getting harder

2007-08-10T14:20:00.000-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Aug 9

It seems like you have to make a deal with Satan to buy a house anymore...

Cooties - "Infestation" part 63

2007-08-07T14:05:00.000-06:00

Hall monitoring!

I have questions, queries, pollzers...

2007-08-05T19:26:00.001-06:00

Something's been spinning around in the back of my mind for the past few days and chipping away at my sanity: This article from the Clipper, which details the horrible experience of one Mr. Seegmiller.

You see, Mr. S enjoys his Sundays. He likes to go to church and spend time with his family on Sundays, as do all good upstanding God-fearing folk. On this particular Sunday, however, the sanctity of the Sabbath was violated when Mr. S heard band music emanating from the Junior High School behind his Bountiful home. He went to investigate and was shocked, shocked to find band members practicing instruments in bikinis and speedos! Yes, here in our very own community of Zion.

The orgy of music and debauchery was brought into the midst of the Saints by the Blue Coats marching band, visiting from Canton, Ohio.

And that's basically it. There are two extremely disturbing things about this article, though. And one of them I just can't put my finger on.

First - The self-righteousness of Mr. S makes my eyeballs want to explode. "This is Sunday, and it’s a day for worship and meditation and spiritual things...I understand we want to open our doors to people, but if they are coming to our community, which is family-oriented and conservative, they should adhere to our standards,” he is quoted as saying.

Don't get me wrong, I agree with his attitude about the sanctity of the day [he hypocritically posted to his blog on Sunday], but more importantly I agree with the 11th article of faith of the LDS Church: "We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship [or choose not to worship] how, where, or what they may." Yes, Mr. S, it is a special day, but by no means can we dictate to others that they "adhere to our standards." This holier-than-thou attitude is the main beef that Utahns who are of other faiths have with the members of the church, and they're right.

Get off your high horse, Mr. S. You could have done any number of things in this situation. You could have put in earplugs and read your scriptures, you could have put on some spiritual music of your own to drown out the "ruckus", or you could have simply and politely asked the band members to tone it down a bit. Which you may well have done, because what follows next is extremely vague as far as the article goes, and leads into my next point about what disturbs me about this story.

Second - I can't for the life of me figure out how this article made it into a newspaper, much less the lead story on the front page of the paper! Is the editor a member of the church and wanted to show the rest of us the ungodly behavior of some NON-Mormons? Is he anti-LDS and wanted to show an example of the self-righteous indignation some Mormons are prone to expressing? I don't believe either of these are the case, which makes this all the more perplexing to me.

Something else fishy is the amount of missing information, and the reliance of only Mr. S as a source for so much of it.

For example:

"According to Seegmiller, the young women in the band and drill team were wearing bikini tops and bottoms and halter tops, while some of the young men wore only Speedo swim suits."

Really? All the women were in bikinis and the guys were in speedos? "According to Mr. S", they were, so it's good enough to not verify for yourself, Mr. Writer?

"Even more, Seegmiller claims he was treated poorly by two men from Utah County who were working as advisers to the band.

'I was basically accosted by these men,' Seegmiller said. 'I was trying to find out what other neighbors thought, and the police came and these men just screamed at me, saying degrading things about the LDS Church.'"

What? What does "find out what other neighbors thought" mean? Were there other people present that he happened to be asking, or was he going door-to-door or calling people like a good busybody should? It leaves that out for some reason. And "the police came" is sort of brushed off, as well. How did the police come to get involved?! Isn't that kind of important? Why is nobody else quoted in this article who was actually present?

Anyway, I know this is such a minor thing, but I can't let go of the reaction I had when I read this on the (again) front page of a paper I work for, and therefore have a stake in its credibility. Are the questions I pose unreasonable? I don't think so.

To every annoying thing there is a season

2007-08-04T09:30:00.001-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Aug 2

My fellow pizza man/journalist Dave suggested this one for me. It's an old joke in many places, I'm sure, but always relevant.

Friendly Neighborhood Buble

2007-08-01T21:43:00.001-06:00

As if I didn't need another reason to love Michael Buble, I find this. Awwww yeah...

Cooties - "Infestation" part 62

2007-07-31T11:54:00.000-06:00

Decisions, decisions...

Catching up

2007-07-29T21:48:00.001-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Jul 19

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Jul 26

The new job has got me in a serious internet/talk radio withdrawal; not like I spent all day doing nothing at my old job, but it was nice to have the radio going on in one ear all day and be able to surf the web when things were slow. It spoiled me pretty bad, though, because my attention span at my new job is next to nothing. It takes all my energy to stay focused on what I'm doing and really work. But I guess this is good for me. Blogging just isn't nearly as important as it is fun, and I'm doing something that will be better for my family in the long run. I'll just have to work out my schedule a little better to set aside some time for drawing/blogging when I'm not at work.
Anyway, here are the last two toons I did for the Clipper. I don't think they're that great, it's so hard to keep the focus on local issues when you live in a place where nothing happens.

The Epidemic

2007-07-25T05:11:00.000-06:00

Is this going on in offices all over the country this week? Tons of people have been reading it on the bus to and from work this week, and on Monday 5 out of the 10 people in my training class had their books out; 2 of us were reading Deathly Hallows but just didn't have our books. If that's representative of the rest of the country, then DANG. Wow.

Deathly Hallows is far and away the best book of the series, and J.K. Rowling could not have ended the Harry Potter series any better than she did. I'm not much for reviewin', so I'll pretty much leave it at that, except for one thought: all of those stupid people who've never read them who think they promote pagan and/or satanic practices will have to deal with the fact that the series is now right up there with Narnia in its Christian symbolism and with Harry as a Christ figure. I hope that doesn't give too much away, but it was inspiring and beautifully done.

Dang, now it's all over, what am I gonna do?

Come on, baby, light my wildfire

2007-07-19T14:05:00.000-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Jul 12

Wildfire season is in full swing, and fire is easy to draw. Aw, yeah...

Cooties update - "Infestation", part 61

2007-07-19T11:55:00.000-06:00

Well, what else are sneakers for?

Smuggling

2007-07-11T14:14:00.000-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Jul 5

I have been a bit lax in updating lately. I'm just adjusting to a new job where I can't blog all day. The lunch room does have some nice computers here with internet access, though, so I'm not completely cut off...

Anyway, here's last week's Clipper toon. You can really tell I didn't want to get out of bed on July 4th and draw it, can't you? Anyway, yeah, Evanston, Wyoming probably exists solely by selling fireworks to Utahns.

Cooties - Jul 10

2007-07-11T14:09:00.000-06:00

Read all about it!

Independence Day

2007-07-04T11:42:00.000-06:00

From the 2007 Perkins Family calendar

Holidays were much easier when I was the one being lugged around instead of having to lug kids around myself. On the other hand, I think I derive more enjoyment from holidays by seeing the looks on my kids' faces now than when I was a kid, ya know? Anyway, yesterday after work we went to the in-laws for dinner, then took the kids to a sort-of parade where it's kids marching and riding decorated bikes/wagons/scooters. It ended at Founders park, where we got out the camp chairs and blankets and spent a couple hours listening to a concert by T Minus 5, a pretty good a cappella group that graced us with renditions of tunes from the Beatles, Queen, Bobby McFerrin and many others who I know but forget their names. I was slightly disappointed that they never sang Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego, though. But that's just me.

After the concert, there was a neat fireworks show; my boys were jumping around screaming in excitement, and my 2-year-old girl was just screaming 'cuz she thought the Apocalypse had come or something. Man, she's scared of everything.

Today my family went to the morning parade without me so I could work on this week's Clipper toon. We'll probably do fireworks at the in-laws again tonight. Hope you all enjoy your 4th!

If you build it, they will whine

2007-06-29T05:32:00.001-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Jun 28

Cooties - Jun 29

2007-06-29T05:27:00.000-06:00

Run away!

Afterworld

2007-06-28T10:13:00.001-06:00

This is a neat little homemade series made by someone with one of those movie-making software programs, I think.

Anyway, the story has to do with a man who takes a business trip, only to wake up the next morning to find that, not only is there no power or phone lines, etc., but that he is the only person left in the city. Everyone else has mysteriously disappeared.

The episodes are short, but fast-paced even without much animation. I've watched the first 10 of them, and me likey.

My main ovservation with this? This seems to me to be the future of television, so to speak. With the increasing availability and low cost of do-it-yourself production and distribution via the internet, stuff like this is going to become more and more common. For those like me who find network TV stale and offensive, and cable TV not worth paying for, homemade TV series are going to become more prevalent. Oy, like I have time to get addicted to more time-wasting entertainment!

Cooties - Jun 26

2007-06-27T10:35:00.000-06:00

Cooties career counseling

Cooties - Jun 23

2007-06-23T13:03:00.000-06:00

Driving Miss Cootie

It's an honor just to be unopposed

2007-06-20T08:37:00.000-06:00

I received a very unexpected surprise this week when I was told by my editor that the Society of Professional Journalists gave me a couple of awards for best Editorial Cartoon! So yeah, I was pretty excited, even though a little research on my part showed that the category the Clipper was in was competing with such media juggernauts as The Park Record ("Serving Summit County since 1880!"), The Leader (Tremonton, UT), The West Jordan Journal, and the Toole Transcript Bulletin. I am 99.9% sure that none of these papers even employ a cartoonist. I won 1st and 2nd place, and the 3rd place slot was blank.

Is winning by default really a victory? Let's not talk about that. I'll take what I can get.

Anyway, here are the 1st place and 2nd place winners. Read them again with a renewed sense of awe, and pray this doesn't cause me to become proud and haughty.

***

I wonder how "Award-winning cartoonist" would look on a business card...

Father's Day 2007

2007-06-18T05:08:00.000-06:00

From the 2007 Perkins Family Calendar

Having my birthday and Father's Day within a week of each other is pretty neat. It's just all about me, baby!

It's been a pretty eventful week at that. I was given a new church calling on Tuesday, and Wednesday I did two job interviews, despite the fact that it was my birthday. The first one was conducted by five people, seriously (my mom later told me companies do that so no one person can be blamed for hiring a loser)! I pretty much hit a home run in that interview, though. A couple highlights:

Interviewer: Tell about a time when you were confronted with an unexpected situation and how you dealt with it.
Me: Does interviewing with five people count? (I'm lucky they all laughed at that)

Also, at the end when they asked me to basically sell myself, I went on about my dependability, flexibility, bla bla, but they I said I don't bring any drama with me, and they all sighed and thanked me for saying that (I've been in office jobs long enough to know that supervisors hate it more than anything else). Then they told me it'd be a week or so and they'd get back to me, but the next day the HR guy called me and said they went right to him and said "We want Nick!" So I gave my notice at the Big O on Friday, and start training at Deseret Mutual Benefit Administrators mid-July. Sounds like an exciting place, I know. But it'll be better for my family in the long run. And better than my first couple jobs, anyway...

Father's Day was good. My wife got me my present early; the comfiest chair I've ever owned! I have to kick the kids out of it when I want to sit, though. But life is good. I'm glad to be a husband and father to such a wonderful family!

Cooties - Jun 15

2007-06-17T16:28:00.001-06:00

Celebutante spotting and going down under.

Clipped

2007-06-17T15:10:00.000-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Jun 14

Update (Jun 23): The Board of Health actually contacted me and asked if they could have a high-res copy of this to print out and hang on their wall. For their Wall of Shame, of course. I of course consented. Good to know we can all have a sense of humor about things.

So my editor was out of the country last week, so the cartoon I submitted didn't get published. Too bad, it was one of my favorites. Anyway, this week's deals with the Davis County Board of Health successfully banning smoking in public places. When I got my edition of the paper, though, I noticed that it ended up looking like this:

Now, I really don't mind being edited, or censored, or whatever. I understood going in that sometimes it would occur. And though I think some of the meaning is lost in the final edit, it may have been a good idea; that deleted comment does sound a little high-and-mighty on my part.

However, I think it's something that needed to be said. I really think the way we let government get away with many things that they have no business getting into is getting worse and worse.

Now I am not a fan of smoking. It's against my religion, it stinks, it's just a plain stupid habit. There are situations where banning it is appropriate, like on airplanes and public (NOT private) places indoors. But this is a case where something that should be common courtesy among civilized people (i.e. smoking in people's faces) isn't observed, so the government decides to step in and make more laws "for our own good." Are we getting fat? Why, government needs to step in and ban trans fat! Are stupid kids showing us their undies with their baggy pants? Why, let's ban those pants! Where does it stop?!

Let's look at it: 68% of Davis County is LDS. There's a huge chunk of the population that isn't lighting up as it is. Of the remaining 32%, 25% of them are likely smokers. So you're looking at about 8% of Davis County. How many of these people are really causing a problem? I'd be willing to bet not many. But because the majority of county citizens aren't really going to be affected by a smoking ban in a negative way, we sit back and let stupid laws like this take the place of thinking for ourselves. And so it goes.

Problems like this are better handled by people being good neighbors and parents. One of my favorite people in the world hated how her son kept wearing baggy pants that showed his boxers. After repeatedly ignoring her instructions to cover himself up, she just decided to pull down his pants while they were out at the mall. I understand he got the message pretty quickly after that. Jackie, you're awesome!

She didn't need any stupid laws to be passed. She did her duty as a mom. So go, and do thou likewise.
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Cooties - Jun 12

2007-06-13T12:40:00.000-06:00

Ten's a crowd on this week's Cooties; also, check out my guest art for Ardra today!

Caught in the middle

2007-06-08T08:15:00.000-06:00

Update: Finally published by the Davis County Clipper on Jun 21

Usually when the Clipper doesn't print one of my toons, I tend to agree with their decision because it's something I scribbled out in a sleep-deprived daze. This time I was pretty surprised, though, since I thought it was one of the best I've done. And it was also timely, since the school voucher debate is pretty much the most-talked-about issue in Utah right now.

I really don't see why people are so worked up about this. Utah has one of the best public education systems in the country; it's not like there's going to be some mass exodus from the public schools, but the Big 'Ol Teachers Unions just can't stomach losing any little bit of power even if it will benefit some kids stuck in a crappy place for them. Even the NAACP is making insulting and absurd allegations regarding how Utahns will react to having vouchers. Special interests looking out for each other? You bet.

Personally, I'm in favor of vouchers, even though I wouldn't be making use of them. Both of my sons are going to the local public school this next year. I say just let the people vote on it and be done with the vitriol.

And come on! It's a giant ape fighting a T-Rex! How do you not print that?

Update 11 Jun: Wow, I got a mention on The Senate Site today!
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2007-06-08T08:12:00.000-06:00

Cooties counseling!

Cooties - June 5

2007-06-05T12:27:00.000-06:00

A stroll down memory lane and a new format for Cooties.

Park this

2007-06-01T12:42:00.000-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on May 31

It's probably a good idea, although the skaters might not think so...

Someone needs a back shave!

2007-05-30T11:31:00.000-06:00

Thanks to my friend Hawkes for emailing me that picture (whose creator will probably never see my blog and tell me to take it down...)

Cooties - May 24

2007-05-25T12:40:00.000-06:00

Hey, Keanu, it's Cooties!

I thought Huntsman's name had an R next to it on the ballot. Oops...

2007-05-25T08:42:00.000-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on May 24

Don't be scared of global warming, citizens! Junior and Ah-nold will save us!

So, yeah, this little pact they signed is supposed to reduce greenhouse gases by putting restrictions on such things as coal-burning plants, where Utah gets something like 90% of its energy. So not only are we paying record prices for gasoline, now my utility bill is going to shoot up, too!

Ya know, I'm all for putting less crap in the air and stuff, but I'm sick of legislators drinking the man-made global warming Kool-Aid and hurting the rest of us just to score points politically. I know governor Huntsman, whose billion-dollar family fortune came from building chemical plants, probably has enough money to cover the increased cost of living in his mansion, but I'd rather feed my kids than save the world, thank you.

Cooties - May 18

2007-05-19T12:22:00.001-06:00

Disabilities For Dummies on this week's Cooties!

Does whatever a bureaucracy can

2007-05-18T11:07:00.001-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on May 17

I am so giddy I got to use Spidey in one of my Clipper toons, although the newspaper removed my little caption at the bottom, which sort of makes the whole thing make less sense and it was Catchy, dangit!

Anyway, Workforce Services are jerks, but the law is the law. If Jack Bauer went down to the WS, he would get that guy's name, I tell you WHAT.

And yeah, Spider-Man 3 was a huge disappointment, but I had to draw Spidey in his black jammies for this toon. Who knew black alien goo turned you into John Travolta? That dance scene was so stupid...

Mother's Day 2007

2007-05-13T07:07:00.000-06:00

From the 2007 Perkins Family Calendar

My wife does have to put up with quite a bit from the four of us, but she does it so well. I could never have asked for a more supportive and loving wife.

Monkey business

2007-05-11T07:33:00.000-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on May 10

I woke up in a stupor one morning this week and scribbled this out. It doesn't even make sense to me now. Apparently someone at the Clipper woke up in a stupor and put this on the opinion page, and it actually got published! Now they have to pay me for it. I LOVE America.

Actually, I know quite a few people who will absolutely love this one.
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Cooties - May 8

2007-05-09T14:46:00.000-06:00

Tonight on Larry King: Cooties reaches 50 strips!

Also, guest scribbles!

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Cooties - May 5

2007-05-07T07:37:00.000-06:00

New site design and some guest art on Cooties...

Mayday 2007

2007-05-04T12:34:00.000-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on May 4

I was honestly surprised that the Clipper printed this, as they seem to be averse to me doing anything not milquetoasty. Anyway, on May 1st, the proponents for lawbreaking marched and whined. Yeah, yeah. I think demonstrations of this sort are becoming less and less effective, because there is always a bunch of complainers protesting somewhere at any given time in the country. Regular folks just seem to regard them as normal now, and tend to ignore them. You have to get violent for anybody to really notice, which kind of worries me...

I won't comment on illegal immigration, if you are interested in my thoughts see some posts from last year.
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Cooties - Apr 30

2007-04-30T08:12:00.000-06:00

Are you taking notes?

Rocky VII: The Hannitization

2007-04-27T07:38:00.000-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Apr 26

When there's nothing going on in Davis County, I can always get away with making fun of Salt Lake County, the Marsha to Davis' Jan...

So who will win the great debate between Rocky Anderson and Sean Hannity? My guess is NOBODY. I won't be there, though; my wife and I will be watching Spider-Man 3! Woo!

Cooties - Apr 27

2007-04-27T07:37:00.001-06:00

Ominous returning characters on this week's Cooties!

Lightbringer art & Cootie notoriety

2007-04-23T08:01:00.000-06:00

The neato superhero webcomic Lightbringer is celebrating its first anniversary; check out the guest art I whipped up featuring Cooties' Jake.

Also, be sure to check out the review Cooties got, and the subsequent interview! Yes, I was actually interviewed by someone and did NOT pay him. Coolness.

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How to get off of work early

2007-04-20T08:54:00.000-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Apr 19

So we're still at the point in this country where something weird and white on our mail causes a panic, but we just can't be bothered to keep up the war on terror. If we just leave Iraq it'll all go away, right? La la laaaa...

Cooties - Apr 19

2007-04-19T09:18:00.000-06:00

Why yes, Cooties is G-rated, why do you ask?

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The ides of April

2007-04-17T05:23:00.000-06:00

Previously published in the Herald Journal in Apr 2004

It's Tax Day. And in spite of the fact that I'm getting a nice refund on the federal side, this year marks the first ever where I actually had to pay taxes to the state of Utah. You thought I whined about the hogs in government feeding at the taxpayer trough before? Now I've actually got a right to complain...

Cooties - Apr 12

2007-04-14T15:13:00.000-06:00

Strange things are afoot on this week's Cooties!

I got your drought prevention right here...

2007-04-13T09:58:00.000-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Apr 12

So people are worried about the drought coming back; the government's solution? Play Big Brother, of course!

"Homeowners will be asked to limit watering again this year, foregoing in between 10 a.m. and 6 p.m. 'For our outdoor watering, we will have some college students going around reminding people not to water in the middle of the day, watching for anyone who might violate that repeatedly,'[Tage Flint, general manager of Weber Basin Water Conservancy District] said."

I love it when high-and-mighty bureaucrats tell me how stupid I am, and I need someone to watch me so I don't use up the state's precious water supply. I just bought a condo, where I don't handle any lawn watering; too bad, I'd love to turn the hose on any activist "college student" who came knocking...

Easter 2007

2007-04-08T13:01:00.000-06:00

From the 2007 Perkins Family Calendar

Happy Easter, folks! I hope you all take a moment to think about the wondrous event that made this holiday come about:

"Those of us who live in comfort and security seldom give any thought to death. Our minds are on other things. Yet there is nothing more certain, nothing more universal, nothing more final than the closure of mortal life. No one can escape it, not one.
I have stood at the tomb of Napoleon in Paris, at the tomb of Lenin in Moscow, and before the burial places of many others of the great leaders of the earth. In their time they commanded armies, they ruled with almost omnipotent power, their very words brought terror into the hearts of people. I have reverently walked through some of the great cemeteries of the world. I have reflected quietly and thoughtfully as I have stood in the military cemetery in Manila in the Philippines where are buried some 17,000 Americans who gave their lives in the Second World War and where are remembered another 35,000 who died in the terrible battles of the Pacific and whose remains were never found. I have walked with reverence through the British cemetery on the outskirts of Rangoon, Burma, and noted the names of hundreds of young men who came from the villages, towns, and great cities of the British Isles and gave their lives in hot and distant places. I have strolled through old cemeteries in Asia and Europe and yet other places and reflected on the lives of those who were once buoyant and happy, who were creative and distinguished, who gave much to the world in which they lived. They have all passed into the oblivion of the grave. All who have lived upon the earth before us are now gone. They have left all behind as they have stepped over the threshold of silent death. None has escaped. All have walked their way to “the undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveler returns” (Hamlet, act 3, scene 1, lines 79–80). Shakespeare so described it.

But Jesus the Christ changed all that. Only a God could do what He did. He broke the bonds of death. He too had to die, but on the third day, following His burial, He rose from the grave, “the firstfruits of them that slept” (1 Cor. 15:20), and in so doing brought the blessing of the Resurrection to every one of us.

Contemplating this wondrous thing, Paul declared: “O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?” (1 Cor. 15:55)...
He is our triumphant Lord. He is our Redeemer, who atoned for our sins. Through His redeeming sacrifice all men shall rise from the grave. He has opened the way whereby we may gain not only immortality but also eternal life." (Gordon B. Hinckley, "He is Not Here, But is Risen")

To make an omlette...

2007-04-06T20:58:00.000-06:00

The Clipper dispensed with the opinion page entirely yesterday to run a full-page ad bragging about some awards they won this year. I congratulate them, and am sort of glad this didn't get published anyway, 'cuz Davis County is bereft of news this week, and this was all I could scribble together after many hours spent failing to come up with something good. And the day after I drew it, Barack Obama made it irrelevant by announcing that the amount of money in his own war chest rivaled Hillary's. Sigh...

Cooties - Apr 3

2007-04-03T08:55:00.000-06:00

Resolving differences on this week's Cooties

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April Fool's 2007

2007-04-01T09:35:00.000-06:00

The cartoonists must be crazy...It's April Fool's Day!

My Jesus can beat up your Jesus

2007-03-31T09:24:00.000-06:00

I submitted this cartoon to the Clipper, but, knowing their aversion to religious subjects, made sure they had an alternate toon in case they didn't want to print this one (see the one they printed in my previous post).

Anyway, it's LDS General Conference time again, which means an army of zealots descend on Salt Lake City to convert us from Mormonism by scathing vitriol, angry demonstration, desecration of things we hold sacred, and screaming at us that we're in the clutches of Satan. Now I don't know about you, but to me nothing says "Christlike" more than angry harpies screaming insults at me. What do they think, my belief is so shallow that I'll denounce the religion I've lived my whole life, a faith that has been confirmed by countless spiritual experiences over the course of my life, because some fat, bald, screaming joker wearing a "Jesus Saves" T-shirt makes a sign saying ol' Joe Smith was a false prophet and that we worship a different Christ? I didn't even know there was more than one! Um, good luck with that, guys...

Sierra Clubbing

2007-03-30T10:56:00.000-06:00

Previously published in the Davis County Clipper on Mar 29

The surest way to have the Sierra Club in Utah rear its head, jaws snapping, waiting to drag you to your doom is to use the words "develop" in the same sentence as "Legacy Highway".

Now, I've probably offended somebody by picturing the Sierra Club as a sneaky, vicious, swamp thing, but in all honesty I'm sort of glad they're there. Yeah, they're a crazy bunch of tree-huggers, but somebody's got to keep an eye out for the little lifeforms that the rest of us really don't think twice about. Once in a while they make a good case, and the rest of the time I can make fun of them! It's a win-win!
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Cooties - Mar 29

2007-03-29T09:28:00.000-06:00

Mad tinfoil-hattery on this week's Cooties!

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Cooties - Mar 23

2007-03-23T09:27:00.000-06:00

Peaceniks unite! It's Cootie time!

I thought I was smart until last night...

2007-03-21T09:45:00.000-06:00

Last night my father-in-law and I attended a lecture by David McCullough, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Truman and 1776 (which I'm in the middle of reading right now). I wasn't quite sure what to expect; I'm not quite a dullard, but I wasn't sure if I'd be able to keep up with him. The man has over 30 honorary degrees, ya know. Anyway, I'm happy to say it was intellectually stimulating, humorous, and just plain cool.

We were regaled with anecdotes from his own life, as well as the lives of the subjects he's studied. As the article I linked to states, he lamented the lack of historical knowledge of contemporary Americans, especially our children. He told of a time when he was speaking at a university, and someone asked him if he'd ever met John Adams! He said that despite his appearance, he wasn't that old. Although he did get within 6 feet of Truman once when he was a young'in.

I came away from it with a greater desire to teach my children about the world they live in, and to make sure they know about U.S. history and what a great country and a great time we live in. I'd like my son's dinner conversation to revolve around something other than Mario & Luigi for once...